When I started my blog, my main purpose was to keep everyone in the "know" about what was going on with me, cancer wise. Also, it was going to be my outlet to be "me", to show that I could do this and that I could make a funny story out of even some of the worst situations I would find myself in.
I'm known for my quick wit, sarcasm, and let's face it...I'm kinda funny. I show it in the beginnings of the blog, but lately, as I update my blog, I can feel that I am just one note, I am flat, I write like a robot.
Am I just one note now? Is all that I am Cancer?
It's what I feel when I first wake, then it's what I think about. It's almost like I don't remember what I did before, or who I was. Has it changed me that much?
I haven't stopped loving those that I love, I haven't stopped caring. The cancer does taunt me tho, if I feel a good day is coming and I make plans to catch up with friends, or run some errands. It rears it's ugliness at me, knocks me down and leaves me helpless for yet another day. Some days I do win, others, I don't.
I bide my time, mostly sleeping, until my next treatment. Then it's about the treatment, blood tests, nurses, Dr's, procedures, the treatment.
Then, I have to recover from the treatment, I sleep. I take the meds, I am so sick of all the bottles of pills. I sleep more.
I don't really have a lot to say anymore.
Or do I?
Or do I?
I wish I could bundle you up and take you home for those remaining treatments. Sounds like Sleep is is the best way to pass the time for now. One day at a time Sarah, It will be over sooner than you expect. Love Neela
ReplyDeleteI did comment on this after I first read it, Sarah but for some reason it didn't post, so here it is again. You need to focus on the Panda now, Sarah & if sleeping is what it takes then so be it. You haven't gone anywhere & when its all done I firmly believe that quick witted, sarcastic, funny woman will bee right back.
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