The Breakfast Club.....

The PET scan has been booked for April 14th in Vancouver. The MRI is on April 15th back in Victoria. Thankfully the MRI is late in the afternoon so we won't have to take the first ferry back from Vancouver.

These scans will be the ones we bank on for the best information on the cancer. The PET scan will show any trace of cancer, and the MRI will show any mass, and it's size, if at all.

This is all good. I'm trying to stay as positive as possible with those dates looming.   However, I was rocked a bit when I found out that the appointment to get the results, wasn't until April 28th....no, no, no. I can't wait that long. I called the cancer centre to see if I could get in earlier, and was told no. My Dr. was all booked up.

Sadly,  I kind of started to feel my old friend anger seep in. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of being tired. I just want to know what's going on....so I can go on, know what I mean?

Anyways, I am trying my best to stay positive, but it's not easy.

Now for the good stuff.....

Did you know that on March 24th, the movie The Breakfast Club will be 30 years old.   Are you finished doing the math in your head? Yes, it's been that long, and yes, we've gotten older.

This is probably my favorite all time movie. I can recite most of it word for word, I know all the insults from Bender and I still remember my high-school boyfriends favorite quote.

The movie was/is so easy to relate to, no matter how old you are, regardless of whether you are male or female. Ok, maybe the guys didn't relate to the princess...or maybe some did, that's cool too.

I guess the reason why I am feeling overly nostalgic, is that what you took away from the movie was the feeling of belonging to a group where no one belongs.

That's kind of how I feel right now.

In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions, we are:

....a brain

.....and an athlete

......and a basket case

.....and a princess

......and a cancer patient

xo

Rolling in the know....

I was back at the Cancer Centre today. First time since I was sent on my 6 week vacation. I was nervous, and let's face it, very tired considering I had two hours sleep.

I really wasn't sure what to expect from this appointment. I knew I would be poked and prodded, asked a million questions, but, because so much of the information they need is thru scans and Bloodwork, I knew we wouldn't walk away with a ton of information.

My Dr. was happy with my progress, which is great news. There seemed to be no sign of the tumour by feel, and that is a great thing. All that radiation has paid off!

I still have to go for an MRI and another PET scan. The PET scan is the important one. This is the scan that shows even the tiniest of specs of cancer in the body. This is the scan that picked up that there was cancer in my lymph nodes. We need to make sure that the scan comes back "Negative". That will then confirm that all of the cancer/panda cells are gone gone gone!

I won't be going for those tests for about another 6 weeks, that kind of bummed me out. There is still a possibility that there is inflammation from the radiation in my body, and we do not want any false positives in any of my scans. So, again, it's a waiting game....

Despite the great news, I left the appointment unsettled. I can't quite put my finger on why. Perhaps it's the waiting and the worry about the lymph nodes...or maybe, again,  it's the feeling of my life being on hold. I don't know...

Anyways....thats the news!

xo

Life on pause...

I've been doing well on my "vacation" away from treatment. Last week, I had a particularly good week, it started off with a pedicure (thank you Lizzy boo) and I had two long overdue visits with good friends. I also bought some new clothes to go with my ever dwindling frame. I spent some wonderful time with the kids, it seemed as tho they were all here everyday, which I didn't mind one bit.

Most if not all of my side effects are gone.   I can't quite shake the nausea and food thing, it's weird. I can't "make" a meal, but I could probably eat it if someone else made it. To put a meal together also requires stamina, which I don't quite have yet either. It feels like I am describing the days when I was pregnant!

Feelings wise, I am doing ok. I've had my ups and downs. I've put a lot of pressure on myself, on my body to be well again, to be a medical mystery maybe. I hope the tumour has shrunk to the size of a smartie, that way it will be easy to get rid of, then voila...I will be cancer free. I know that's not how things work, I get it but I hope that I don't let everyone down if there isn't an improvement.

My appointment with my Oncologist is next week. I have been looking forward to this appointment, and dreading it at the same time. Again, I have worries about how well my body and the radiation have gotten rid of the cancer, but also looking forward to it so that I can get out of this holding zone. I liked that I had a break from treatment, but I haven't really been able to plan anything or really do anything until this appointment.   Depending on what happens next week will dictate potentially how I may spend the next 4-6 months...or not.

That's the hard part, not knowing. There is a lot of that in the cancer world...

xo