....a day in the life

wake up - did I even sleep? feels like no...

secretly wish today is the day that someone surprises me at the door....i won't be alone any longer

take my morning meds...new meds for chemo and nausea, old meds for RA and Fibro, and others....then have to put something in my stomach...very.last.thing.i.want.to.do.

i found dark cherry greek yoghurt helps

check my alarm, it must be wrong..shit, it's not.  I check my appts, 3 on the books today...do I shower?  no time, hair up and go...

racing to get dressed....do a kid count 1..2..3...they are all where they should be.  I love them.  Call my mom, put her on speaker phone..hi mom, yes I am fine, no I am not actually, I didn't sleep well, yes I feel pukey....hope you have a good day, I love you...

i am stubborn, i am driving myself today. i want to do as much as i can.  i worry about gas $.

i used to live less then a 10 minute drive from the cancer clinic, now depending on traffic it is anywhere between 25 and a 45 minute drive....who knew?  certainly not i.

got to my appointments today...first with my nutritionist. i continue to lose weight.  to me this is a good thing, to them, it is not.  I need to keep my protein levels up, so that they will continue to let me have my chemo.  I need the chemo to help the radiation break down the panda....

i was so tired....i cried when I was in the radiation room...they clerks are trained to notice everything, they had to ask...i am ok, tired.  Yes they said..."this will be  difficult, this will be hard, this will be over soon"...

i cried all the way home.....

soon...i take all my night time meds, and hope for sleep

then it starts all over, the worry, the guessing, but I am full of love...i couldn't ask for better