Let's get this party started..

I am happy to say that I do have a start date for my radiation, it's Monday. As in, this Monday. Like in 2 sleeps.

I've noticed a change in myself. 

Being sick with RA and Fibro can be excruciatingly painful, not only in body but in mind as well. It's so fucking frustrating. You can literally go to bed and not know what will be hurting the next day, or what limb will be feeling "asleep", or whether I will sleep all day. It just gets to be so defeating.

Now with the panda cells, I know exactly what needs to be done to get well. This isn't a chronic illness, it's a threat to all the cells in my body that are well. There is a cure, there is a plan, there aren't any guessing games.

The change I've noticed in myself is that I have found my confidence. Generally speaking, and previous to my current health issues....when it came to my health, I did not use it, I naively placed myself into the care of someone else and said here, fix me. That got me nowhere, other than placed on medications that were not helpful to me at all. 

Now, I am fully in tune with what is happening and where and why. There won't be a question I won't ask, there won't be a second opinion I won't seek. I have to be confidant and know what is happening in and to my body. That panda tumour has to shrink. 

 

What a lesson this will be once this is over, perhaps I will finally find a new way to live with the RA and Fibro.

I don't want to leave you with the impression that I slogged thru these past years not caring. It's just that with RA and Fibro there is not a lot that you can do. Often Dr's throw too many meds at patients, sometimes not enough. Sometimes the RA is even hiding more illnesses because it's an autoimmune disease that affects the whole body all the time. It's exhausting just to talk about...let alone having it.

Back to the party!

It starts Monday....I have no idea what to wear! what are you going to wear?

xo s